Poem for the Girls

A poem for us.... I shave my legs, I sit down to pee. And I can justify any shopping spree. Don't go to a barber, but a beauty salon. I can get a massage without a hard-on.I can balance the checkbook, I can pump my own gas. Can talk to my friends, about the size of my ass. My beauty's a masterpiece, and yes, it takes long. At least I can admit, to others when I'm wrong. I don't drive in circles,at any cost. And I don't have a problem, admitting I'm lost. I never forget, an important date. You just gotta deal with it,
I'm usually late. I don't watch movies, with lots of gore. Don't need instant replay, to remember the score I won't lose my hair, I don't get jock itch. And just cause I'm assertive, Don't call me a bitch.
Don't say to your friends, Oh yeah, I can get her. In your dreams, my dear, I can do better! Flowers are okay, But jewelry's best. Look at me you idiot... Not at my chest???? I don't have a problem, With Expressing my feelings. I know when you're lying, You look at the ceiling. DON'T call me a GIRL , a BABE or a CHICK .
I am a WOMAN.Get it?, you DICK!?!